Had to pick a different security question, because “reading gay Iron Man werewolf hockey porn” didn’t fit in the answer box for “what’s your favorite hobby?”
my kingdom for a fic where undercover cop Stiles Stilinski is trolling the local gay bars looking for a serial killer and either:
A) runs into Derek, who looks a lot like the vague description they’ve compiled, and is super into Stiles (he’s here because he’s the killer’s type: white, dark-haired, twinky, kind of pretty - Lydia MADE Stiles wear lip gloss, okay) and also has a habit of kind of… smelling him? its weird. at the time Stiles totally does not find it hot, but he does feel REALLY bad when the whole police force descends upon Derek outside the club when Derek leaves with Stiles, only to find out Derek’s been out of town visiting his sister in NYC for the past two weeks.
"Uhm," Stiles says. "I’m really sorry about that? As is Beacon Hills PD, obviously, all of us, but — me especially."
Derek stares at Stiles’s face for a moment, and the shrugs his way back into his leather jacket. ”Do you ever visit gay bars in your off time?”
Stiles blinks. “Not often.” And Derek’s face falls, infinitesimally, and Stiles quickly blunders on. “I work second shift a lot! I don’t - I’m unaware of gay brunch, I guess.”
"Margot’s on Third is pretty good," Derek says, and boom, date.
(the guy they catch, later, is not as handsome as Derek, who immediately gets affronted about the whole thing)
or B) Stiles takes up a spot at the bar and ends up getting hit on by Peter, who DEFINITELY gives off serial killer vibes, big time. In fact Peter is so off-putting that Stiles actually comes around to second-guessing himself, because what kind of idiot would go home with someone this creepy?
"Get lost, Peter," someone says behind him, someone built and scruffy, damn, if that isn’t Stiles’s type wrapped up in a threadbare undershirt. Peter raises an eyebrow and exchanges a few barbs with tall dark and handsome before actually scramming.
"Thanks for the save," Stiles says, half to Handsome and half to Lydia in his ear, wondering if he needs backup. "He was…"
"My uncle’s definitely skeevy," Handsome says.
"… regular skeevy or serial killer skeevy?"
"My name’s Stiles!"
And then eventually they bone, which only gets a little awkward when Derek finds the wire taped inside of Stiles’s plaid shirt.
- Hufflepuff. HUFF le PUFF.
- They’re mostly considered nice and peaceful.
- They live right by the kitchen.
- Their head of house teaches herbology.
- “Badger” is exactly the kind of animal a stoner would come up with.
- Slytherins obviously do cocaine.
THIS TAG OMG.
(Source: , via slow-spinning-redemption-21)
ALSO! like, wTF it’s 47 degrees and sunny and then it’s supposed to dump another 6 inches of snow tomorrow night? Damn, son. I just managed to clear out the bottom of the driveway.
#pain #sadness #michigan #yes i voluntarily moved here
Literal notes on my appeal argument for tomorrow:
1. Irreparable harm
2. Not fair
4. Make sure your fly is up.
goalies in hockey are a lot like your savant cousin. you love the shit out of that lil’ dude, and you’ll get real violent real quick with anyone who so much as looks at them wrong, but sometimes they say or do things that remind you that they’re a lil’ dude who could probably make you bleed just with their mind.
(source: mollybrooks —> this is a click through once you expand the read more, but tumblr is tumblr so it doesn’t work just in the dash. GO FOLLOW MOLLY BROOKS, SHE’S SO A+!)
you love your goalie. you protect your goalie.
but like, you are probably at least a little afraid of your goalie.
My parents are coming to stay with us next week. So, this weekend, I:
-washed all the curtains
-washed all the rugs
-washed and changed the guest room bedding
-washed and changed all the doggie protection sofa blankets
-hand dusted the whole house with a wet microfiber cloth (like, all surfaces, all the woodwork, doors, door frames, display shelves, etc.)
- washed and changed my sheets and Sprout’s sheets
-when it became obvious I could no longer ignore it, sewed the bathroom window treatments back together
-mopped the kitchen, laundry room and bathrooms
- vacuumed and dust mopped the whole house (to be fair, I do this every week because with kid and two dogs if I don’t we’d all die as a result of the giant hairball)
-did the regular laundry
- furminated the dogs
- cut the dogs’ nails
- windexed all the windows and mirrors
And next weekend before they actually turn up, I’ll vacuum and dust mop again, clean the bathrooms and wash the dogs. And they wonder why I look so frazzled when they turn up.
So, no, although my mom’s officially OCD, I’m not. But, like, does it really matter? Normal people don’t do this, right? I guess it’s good I did it the week before, so I have time to recover, but blech.